i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
