Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize