areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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