at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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