he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
