the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
