I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
