The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
