Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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