Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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