I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
