whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
