playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
