do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
a search helicopter?!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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