she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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