I want to stick my p in your. b.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You are the jesus of drinking
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
