I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
