so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
