dude i'm inner monologue high
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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