watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
