I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
