I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
