Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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