before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
