Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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