in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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