My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
