I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
