Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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