A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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