OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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