i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
