He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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