bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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