I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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