Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
