We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
