Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
