Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
