I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
