I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
