He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
