Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
