I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
