awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
