6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
