TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
