Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
