We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
