Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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