just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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