Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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