It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
