pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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