Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm really into asian looking animals
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
