you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
