My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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