can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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