You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
