guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
