hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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