you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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