So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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