I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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