like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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