just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
