FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
