And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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