The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Damn victory sex feels great
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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