At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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