People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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