The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
